“The most important relationship we can all have is the one you have with yourself. The most important journey you can take is one of self-discovery. To know yourself, you must spend time with yourself, you must not be afraid to be alone. Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” – Aristotle.
Today I want to talk about such a “worn to holes topic” as LOVE FOR YOURSELF. Now it is a very popular topic for endless online courses from celebrities on the Internet about "one's uniqueness" and "and self-love." I see this topic in a completely different way. It is important for me to first answer the question: “Who am I? Who will I love? WHAT self are you going to show love for?
If you take a closer look at each of us, then each person is a set of programs that we received from our childhood. This is an example of our parents, our environment. We, like sponges, absorb the environment in which we grow and develop. It's like a look at the world, but connected with other people. Not with us.
When they talk about self-love, you first need to understand what kind of person is in front of me now in the mirror? Who am i? Who am I going to love so desperately now? What are his/her hobbies? What makes him/her happy? What does his/her soul yearn for so much? Perhaps what you love since childhood is just what others showed you by example? So you always wanted to work in finance and investment, earn a number with 7 zeros, start a family with a beautiful supermodel / actress and move into a cozy house in a trendy area. And you follow this script because everyone around you thinks it's cool. So was it YOUR DESIRE, or is it an imposed program?
Or another example, a child becomes a lawyer, because his whole family has been working for several generations to guard the law. And at the slightest doubt about the choice of a future profession, the father, a well-known judge, says: “Everyone in our family is lawyers. And you should be too!”
To make it clear to you, I will tell you how I searched for myself. I was working on my built-in destructive programs. I removed all the programs that were not mine. At least for the last 7 generations of the family in our DNA there are so many negative attitudes from our ancestors. In the last 100 years alone, we have gone through 2 world wars, dispossession, famine, the loss of all property and livelihoods, a huge number of deaths.
Layer by layer, I removed these attitudes from myself: "I must be strong; you can’t rely on a man; asking means being weak; loving means you will be hurt; you need to work hard to provide for yourself and not depend on anyone; feelings you need to hide - this is a manifestation of your weakness."
The most interesting thing is that when you work through and remove these settings, a HUGE amount of energy is released. Your inner diamond of your soul meets the rays of the sun for the first time, giving this world an incredible light. This is the ENERGY of CREATION. When a person can be the architect of his life at will.
When it comes to relationships, these attitudes always run the primacy in your behavior and do not allow your true "I" to open up. In such pairs, it is clear that a person behaves unnaturally. For example, a man living with an imposed attitude from his mother, who was once abandoned by her husband, about the fact that all around are traitors and there can be no fidelity in a relationship - he himself will never be happy in a couple.
In fact, we are machines with a bunch of viruses in the software. We are controlled by our subconscious. Not giving us even the slightest chance to truly take control.
There are a huge number of such installations or programs. They block us money, love, luck, success, happiness.
These programs need to be removed layer by layer. How a diamond cutter polishes a stone to get the perfect clarity and proportion of the stone. So we must remove everything superfluous and imposed on ourselves in order to see our REAL ourselves.
Therefore, you first need to understand what artificial programs work for you. Understand where you constantly stumble, where you run in circles, like a squirrel in a wheel with no result. Understand what is YOURS in this life and what is NOT. What "suitcase without a handle" do you carry with you through life?
You need to develop your inner core - this is what is REALLY IMPORTANT and what you can rely on.
For me, self-love is a volumetric concept, when I know myself and accept myself differently, especially with my shadow qualities. For me, loving myself is when I show myself in my worst roles: when I hysteria, roar, be rude, when I allow others to violate my boundaries, when I devalue myself, when I try to be good for the sake of other people, when I am afraid of tomorrow days and is ready to give up, because there is simply no strength to go further .... I do not judge myself, I do not rate myself on a ten-point scale. I acknowledge that I HAVE the RIGHT to such behavior.
When we take off our masks, wash off the stage make-up, it turns out that we are not at all what we seemed to be. To experience such moments is happiness. At such moments, you do not want to see people around you. I want to be alone and quiet. The masks that have been put on us since childhood do not look like the real us. We need to get to the bottom of the real us. This is a process similar to cutting a diamond.
For me, self-love is the art of allowing yourself to be different, accepting yourself, showing compassion for yourself.
It is important to understand that when we begin to REALLY love ourselves, we begin to love other people.
When you don't love yourself, it's impossible to share what you don't have!
People who have a closed heart, or they are deformed by childhood traumas, patterns from their parents, in principle, cannot love.
If you take a closer look at each of us, then each person is a set of programs that we received from our childhood. This is an example of our parents, our environment. We, like sponges, absorb the environment in which we grow and develop. It's like a look at the world, but connected with other people. Not with us.
When they talk about self-love, you first need to understand what kind of person is in front of me now in the mirror? Who am i? Who am I going to love so desperately now? What are his/her hobbies? What makes him/her happy? What does his/her soul yearn for so much? Perhaps what you love since childhood is just what others showed you by example? So you always wanted to work in finance and investment, earn a number with 7 zeros, start a family with a beautiful supermodel / actress and move into a cozy house in a trendy area. And you follow this script because everyone around you thinks it's cool. So was it YOUR DESIRE, or is it an imposed program?
Or another example, a child becomes a lawyer, because his whole family has been working for several generations to guard the law. And at the slightest doubt about the choice of a future profession, the father, a well-known judge, says: “Everyone in our family is lawyers. And you should be too!”
To make it clear to you, I will tell you how I searched for myself. I was working on my built-in destructive programs. I removed all the programs that were not mine. At least for the last 7 generations of the family in our DNA there are so many negative attitudes from our ancestors. In the last 100 years alone, we have gone through 2 world wars, dispossession, famine, the loss of all property and livelihoods, a huge number of deaths.
Layer by layer, I removed these attitudes from myself: "I must be strong; you can’t rely on a man; asking means being weak; loving means you will be hurt; you need to work hard to provide for yourself and not depend on anyone; feelings you need to hide - this is a manifestation of your weakness."
The most interesting thing is that when you work through and remove these settings, a HUGE amount of energy is released. Your inner diamond of your soul meets the rays of the sun for the first time, giving this world an incredible light. This is the ENERGY of CREATION. When a person can be the architect of his life at will.
When it comes to relationships, these attitudes always run the primacy in your behavior and do not allow your true "I" to open up. In such pairs, it is clear that a person behaves unnaturally. For example, a man living with an imposed attitude from his mother, who was once abandoned by her husband, about the fact that all around are traitors and there can be no fidelity in a relationship - he himself will never be happy in a couple.
In fact, we are machines with a bunch of viruses in the software. We are controlled by our subconscious. Not giving us even the slightest chance to truly take control.
There are a huge number of such installations or programs. They block us money, love, luck, success, happiness.
These programs need to be removed layer by layer. How a diamond cutter polishes a stone to get the perfect clarity and proportion of the stone. So we must remove everything superfluous and imposed on ourselves in order to see our REAL ourselves.
Therefore, you first need to understand what artificial programs work for you. Understand where you constantly stumble, where you run in circles, like a squirrel in a wheel with no result. Understand what is YOURS in this life and what is NOT. What "suitcase without a handle" do you carry with you through life?
You need to develop your inner core - this is what is REALLY IMPORTANT and what you can rely on.
For me, self-love is a volumetric concept, when I know myself and accept myself differently, especially with my shadow qualities. For me, loving myself is when I show myself in my worst roles: when I hysteria, roar, be rude, when I allow others to violate my boundaries, when I devalue myself, when I try to be good for the sake of other people, when I am afraid of tomorrow days and is ready to give up, because there is simply no strength to go further .... I do not judge myself, I do not rate myself on a ten-point scale. I acknowledge that I HAVE the RIGHT to such behavior.
When we take off our masks, wash off the stage make-up, it turns out that we are not at all what we seemed to be. To experience such moments is happiness. At such moments, you do not want to see people around you. I want to be alone and quiet. The masks that have been put on us since childhood do not look like the real us. We need to get to the bottom of the real us. This is a process similar to cutting a diamond.
For me, self-love is the art of allowing yourself to be different, accepting yourself, showing compassion for yourself.
It is important to understand that when we begin to REALLY love ourselves, we begin to love other people.
When you don't love yourself, it's impossible to share what you don't have!
People who have a closed heart, or they are deformed by childhood traumas, patterns from their parents, in principle, cannot love.